either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
