after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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