i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
