i love accidental penises.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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