I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
