So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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