she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
