Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
