you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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