I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
