This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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