We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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