Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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