The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
