I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
