And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
