On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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