So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
