do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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