Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
