it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
