I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
