Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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