Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
