everyone is single if you try hard enough
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
