Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
