no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
