with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
