mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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