So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize