Nicole vs. Life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
