You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you inspire me to be a worse person
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
