She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
