Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
