We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
