I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
