i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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