Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize