yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
