You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she smelled like a LAN party
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
