I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
