Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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