I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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