If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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