I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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