You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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