My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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