Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
