$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
