gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
