i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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