Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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