Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
