Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
