ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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