what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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