all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
