Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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