Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
