New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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