We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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